What Character From Hello Dolly Are You? A Quiz

Jane Capodanno, Prospect Writer

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What Hello, Dolly character are you the most? Remember to keep track of your answers!

Tonight is a big night for you. THE night, quite possibly. Anything could happen! The lights are as bright as the stars and so are the possibilities of tonight, if all goes well, so you need your outfit to make you feel your confident self and give you luck. What color do you wear?

  1. Red
  2. Baby blue
  3. Orange
  4. Blackity black

And what are you carrying as an accessory?

  1. As many sparkling sequins as you possibly can.
  2. A trusty can of tomatoes.
  3. A bow tie.
  4. A sensible cane.

You’ve finished preparing for the night and are a bit nervous as to how it’ll go, knowing that you have one flaw, and one flaw only….which John Mulaney quote unfortunately sums it up best?

  1. “…the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.”
  2. “Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you!”
  3. “I don’t look like anyone who used to do anything. I look like I was sitting in a room with a chair eating saltines for 33 years.”
  4. “I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die.”

But what nice words describe you best?

  1. entrepreneurial
  2. hopeful and optimistic
  3. always looking for adventures
  4. quite sensible!

Pick a food to order tonight.

  1. A chicken… for two.
  2. Grilled American cheese on soft white bread, from the kids’ menu.
  3. Whatever is cheapest. I’m broke.
  4. Chocolate covered peanuts, unshelled. (That’s the expensive kind.)

So you’re absolutely chowing down on your dinner, right? I mean, absolutely devouring it, going absolute sicko mode on your meal, when you drop a bite on the ground! What do you do???

  1. Ignore it or give it off to someone else, excluding a few details, arranging a few things.
  2. Eat it, of course!
  3. Pick it up and eat, grossing yourself out a bit, but like, food is food, and you’re broke.
  4. I’m too bougie to care.

What’s the phrase you say the most?

  1. Here’s my business card.
  2. Holy Cabooses!
  3. Let’s have an adventure.
  4. I am not going to marry you!

Finally, the night is over. It’s been a roaring success! Have you won…

  1. a gold cup for dancing?
  2. a trip to see the stuffed whale at Barnum’s museum?
  3. a moment of love, that lasted a whole life long?
  4. a new housekeeping service?

 

Key:

If you said mainly 1’s, you are…Dolly Levi-Gallagher dancer, widow, and jack of all trades, but mainly a marriage arranger.

If you said mainly 2’s, you are… Barnaby Tucker! As innocent and wholesome and excited by the prospect of a stuffed whale as a seventeen-year-old can be.

If you said mainly 3’s, you are…Cornelius Hackl: chief clerk at a hay and feed store. You’re 33 years old and you’ve never been kissed but goshdarnit is it a goal!

If you said mainly 4’s, you are…Horace Vandergelder, the well-known Yonkers half-a-millionaire in need of a wife, and in perpetual pursuit of more money!

 

Hello, Dolly, a three-time Tony Award winning musical, is in Ludlowe’s auditorium this Friday at eight p.m., this Saturday at two in the afternoon, and this Saturday at eight p.m. for outrageously low prices ($10 dollars a ticket). You can buy them at the door or after school the week before.