As a result of the phone ban, Ludlowe students hoping to buy from bake sales or vending machines can no longer do so with a simple tap of their phone. Venmo, Cashapp, Zelle, Paypal, and Apple Pay are things of the past for Falcons; now, they pay in cold, hard cash.

Purchases at vending machines around the school have gone down by 50%, likely due to a generational inability to count coins. 

“I don’t know if the vending machine is broken or if I haven’t been able to feed it the right combination of coins, but I’ve lost $41.54 over the past three months,” said one senior in AP Calculus AB. After further investigation, they appear to have been feeding the machine pennies in large quantities. Also, the machine is broken. 

In addition, after several months of students being limited to cash, the stealing of lunch money has increased at Ludlowe by 75%. 

“I used to use Apple Pay at the vending machine for my fruit snacks, but now I have to carry a wad of cash to school each day,” said one student, from inside a locker they’d been shoved into. 

Defenseless students have suffered deeply from the need for physical lunch money, making them frequent victims to old-fashioned lunch money theft, a crime many school administrators thought was left in the past. 

However, traditional bullies and thieves are overjoyed, with much more time on their hands.

“I don’t know, I think it’s kinda vintage,” stated a potential bully. “It’s wholesome that we’re leaving cyberbullying behind for some classic, old-fashioned bullying tactics.”