Everyone has played board games. If they say they haven’t, they’re lying. Whether you’re a firm believer in MAGA or a hardcore Marxist, you have to have a little fun sometimes. But not all board games are fun. To add to the negative atmosphere of the world, I figured I’d find out what the least favorite board game of each side is.
First, I asked the farthest leftist I could find. They told me they believe in communism, complete government support, and death to the bourgeois. They asked to be anonymous so Big Brother can’t find their cabin in the woods. Then, they (after a 20 minute tangent about Big Brother) explained to me that their most-hated board game was Monopoly. According to them, it “indoctrinates children to the darkness that is capitalism and encourages their greed.”
They had some further comments, but in fear of Big Brother coming for me, I chose to not include those.
Next, I asked a more moderate liberal. They believe that socialism is a good idea, are a firm Kamala fan, and hate the cops. They didn’t ask to be anonymous, but our first friend kindly warned us that, if anyone’s name was published, the leftist would find that individual and convert them to the correct worldview.
This liberal explained that they hated Clue because it “encouraged police ideology.” They believe in complete reform of the police system. When asked how, exactly, to reform the criminal justice system, they blinked slowly before launching into a speech about how Kamala was the best choice for president America will ever have.
Of course, I had to ask a centrist. I shouldn’t have. They explained to me that “all games have their flaws; all games are bad.” I asked if any were worse than others, but they responded, “all games are equal.” Findings here are inconclusive.
After that disappointment, I was happy to move on to the average Republican. They believe in less government input, and if people happen to be dying in the streets, well, what can you do? They just want the Constitution upheld, and I can’t blame them.
Their least favorite board game was chess. They told me that “the game is too darn complicated. I just want to live my simple life. Is that too much to ask?”
Of course, to end us off, I asked a good ol’ MAGA man. He noticed my dyed hair immediately and advised me to fix it. He went on about how the hair dye had poisoned me. It was generally uncomfortable, but his answer was the most interesting of all the interviewees’.
He told me he hated Scrabble, explaining, “I never went to school. What, I’m supposed to be able to spell? Nah. We have more important things to do.”
As a Scrabble fan, this was an odd perspective, but I nonetheless respect the opinions of my fellow Americans.
